Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I Said No

This is usually how I go places, unless there are carts.  It's easier to maneuver the smaller stroller, and it's convenient since it's always in my car.  Plus, not every doorway is wide enough to fit my double stroller.

Anyway, this is how I went to the social security office yesterday.  I knew there would be chairs inside, so I wouldn't have to hold one of the boys for long.  And then, I would just need to hold one while I was at the counter.  No big deal.  While we waited our turn, the boys did pretty well.  It was almost time for a nap, but they would only have small, 30-second outbursts.  I was pretty pleased.

Then, our number was called and we went up to our assigned station.  That's when the boys started to freak out.  What made everything worse was that our employee was in training, so everything took a lot longer.  I was starting to get frustrated, but kept my cool.  I figured people must bring in crying kids all the time.

Out of no-where, a woman came up, arms outstretched, and said, "let me hold one of your babies."  She was a total stranger.  I hadn't even spoken with her while we waited (which may have made more sense).  I was stopped in my tracks.  I somehow managed to tell her I was alright, but she insisted.  I eventually just told her that the boys don't take well to strangers.  She accepted that response and went back to her seat, but seemed a little offended.

I know a lot of moms talk about women asking personal questions or wanting to touch their babies, but hold?!  Have you ever gotten that?  She seemed well-intentioned, so I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't believe it.  It probably irritates me more than others because, although I know she probably didn't mean it, I take it as she thinks I can't handle my children, that she must think I am too young or in way over my head. 

Has this ever happened to you?  If so, how did you respond?  I'd love to know.  I felt like I was stumbling, trying to find the right way to say no, without literally saying no.  Or, would you have let her hold one of your kids?  And if so, why?  I would love to get different perspectives about this, because Eric and I see it differently.


  1. No way would I let a stranger hold my child or my baby nephew (or any other child in my care. I don't even like leaving the dog tied up outside my brunch spot, while I go in for a coffee refill). I remember once traveling with a friend and being horrified when she asked to hold someone's baby and randomly started chasing (playing with) a preschooler. She certainly meant well, but I was horrified that she had no idea how inappropriate that was. I would assume this lady just thought your boys were adorable and that was her best intro as ill-advised as it was.

  2. @Beyond Normal Mom

    Thanks for your input. It's nice to know that I'm not crazy for feeling the way I did.