Still At It

If you look back at the last post before my more than brief hiatus, I posted a picture from the day I enrolled at a local university to start working toward my undergraduate degree.  And you know what?  Still working.  I've told several people recently how much I feel like the tortoise in the race.  I opted to work full time right out of high school and since I've gone back to school, it's been only part time.  The pros are that I never have 5 papers due at once, or have a bunch of exams on the same day, I get to still spend most of my time with my boys and don't have to pay for full time childcare.  The con is that it takes flippin forever!  To those parents who go to school full time, geesh!  You are all superheroes in my book.  My goal is just to have my bachelors by the time I'm 30 (fingers crossed).

Photo Dump

If you're anything like me, a post isn't worth reading unless there's a picture or two to go along with it.  I assumed it's our voyeuristic nature, at least that's what I'm going to choose to believe.  But that's beside the point.  The point is, this is one giant post full of pictures to summarize the last year and a half, or at least attempt to.

And now I'm pretty sure you won't even need to get on Facebook or Instagram for the rest of today.  You daily quota of looking at photos has been met.  Your welcome.

Buddies

Brothers will be brothers.  Sometimes they are going fight, sometimes they won't get along, sometimes they may not even like each other much.  But the desire I have for my boys is to be close, despite their differences, despite their fights, despite everything.  There are things that they will bound over that are like most siblings, but then there will be things that they will bond over that almost no one else can relate to.  This is why their relationship is so important to me.  This is why I emphasize the importance of being there for your brother no matter what.

Even now they fight a lot, push, yell, get frustrated, but they have also been playing a lot together.  They are becoming content being with each other and not needing me in the room.  Their friendship is blooming, and not just because they are brothers.  Atticus asked Eric who his best friend was the other night and then proceeded to tell him that Baxter was his best friend.

Heart officially melted.  I love my boys.

Lets Talk About Hair

I do not and will not claim to know much about doing black hair.  What I do know I have learned from other adoptive moms, nice women at the beauty supply house up the street, the boys' barber and Baxter's new hair stylist.  I am eager to learn yet am alright with having professionals take care of my boys' hair.  This is the reality of being a white mother of two black children (and a woman who can barely do her own hair most days).

It is a reality that Eric and I talked about before the boys ever came home; the importance of maintaining their hair, and the price tag that inevitably goes along with it.  I could use hair clippers myself, and I could not worry about cleaning up their hair lines, but I know that it's important.

At age 1, they each had their very first haircut.  Our barber was recommended to us by a wonderful women who works at our gym.  At first the boys would see him once a month, but now they are going every other week.  They look forward to going.  They even have a catchphrase with him.  What could take a grand total of 15 minutes takes more like 45 because they hang out and talk with the him and the other people in the barber shop.  They are becoming apart at that barber shop's community.  I love it.  And I say "they" because I don't go anymore, except on rare occasions.  It's become a father-son outing.

What I am involved in is Baxter's new venture into dreadlocked hair.  Or at least the very beginnings of dreadlocks.  We had our very first appointment last weekend, and so began the 6 month to year long process of locking his hair.  What an adventure this will be and I am super excited for it, although I'm a little paranoid that they might all come undone before they lock in for good.  We have another appointment next weekend to have them re-twisted and tightened.  So far, the hardest part is not getting his hair wet.



He did such a great job.  He did not like getting his hair shampooed and squirmed when certain areas were combed, but with a sucker and an iPad, the kid was pretty much golden.  And hopefully it will become easier and easier from here on out.

Going a Little Postal

Yes, I mean I am going a little crazy.  About what you ask?  The postal system, what else!  Specifically, our mail carrier.  Be warned, the following is a little rant.

At our last house, I loved every mail carrier we had.  The boys and I would be sitting out front most warm days when the mail would be delivered, so we became familiar with the different people who delivered it.

At our house now, our mail carrier only delivers our mail when the conditions are perfect.  I first discovered this when I didn't shovel our front steps for a few days.  We had just moved in and never used the front door.  During those days our mail was never delivered, then, once we finally shoveled and our mail was finally delivered there were notes with lots of exclamation marks and underlines informing us that the steps weren't shoveled and it was dangerous (I won't get into the ridiculous thought process of writing notes you don't deliver until after the thing you want done is already done).  But something even worse happened just the other day.  We had a snow storm, and I worked all day at Eric's office so nothing was shoveled and our mail wasn't delivered (I wasn't surprised).  The next day I shoveled our steps and salted the sidewalk.  I didn't have time to shovel the sidewalks too, but it was pretty warm and I thought salt was help a lot.  Our mail was delivered with a note about the sidewalks (let me just say that people walk up and down our street all day without any incidents).  The following day I was going to shovel, but our mail carrier came much earlier than usual so I hadn't done it yet.

I watched him pull up in front of our house, get out, walk down our sidewalk but did not deliver our mail.  So, apparently our sidewalk wasn't too treacherous to walk on, but he doesn't like having to walk  on snowy sidewalks so our consequence was having our mail withheld.

So, it looks like my mail carrier is either a crotchety man or a child throwing a tantrum.  It's a hard choice.

Rant over.

Alive and Well and Back

Hiatus is probably a major understatement for the month of crickets heard around these parts.  I didn't intend to stop posting altogether, but since I didn't have much time to shower this month, I really didn't have much time to write a blog post.  

It turns out that moving, having your husband travel a whole bunch and hosting upwards of 17 people at your house makes a person pretty busy.  To give you the short version of what the month of December looked like, on the 1st we moved into our new house, which was the same day that Eric returned from an 8 day trip to China. We unpacked and tried to get settled for a week.  On December 15, Eric left for a 7 day trip to Zambia.  The day he returned (December 21st), we already had had 5 people arrive to stay with us for the holidays and by the day after Christmas we reached our peak of 17.  And for two nights, there were 17 people sleeping in our house.  Add Christmas parties, birthday parties, hosting the biggest new years party of our lives, and two sick toddlers, and I think you can see how blogging made it way to the bottom on the "make time for" list.

But the house has recovered after new years, my kids are healthy again, and the last of our house guests headed home yesterday, so I blogging may be able to return!

Sunday Mornings

Life can get so busy so fast, especially on the weekends.  Sometimes by Sunday night, we're more exhausted than we were on Friday, when the weekend began.  We fill our time with all the things we want and need to do.  For us, the one time during our oftentimes crazy weekend that is meant for us to slow down is Sunday mornings.  It's almost a sacred part of our weekend.  We never make plans, we don't go anywhere (except to the bakery for muffins), we just enjoy being together as a family.  We try to take it slow, doing things that we enjoy and that are relaxing.  The boys play outside as Eric and I sit on the porch.  He works on his fantasy football team as I catch up on Pinterest, we talk about the week ahead, and just soak up not having an agenda.  

These few short hours we take for ourselves each Sunday morning give us a boost to start the week off right.  It's something that we truly cherish.

On Taking Time for Myself

I've always known that it was a good idea to take time for yourself once you have kids, but I never could have realized how vital it really is, especially as a stay at home mom.  Soon after the boys came home Eric and I decided on two nights a week where we could each have a night away, without any parental responsibilities.  And since then, we've done a pretty good job keeping this up.

If you don't have kids, it may sound like I don't want to be around them, but I do.  I really do.  But having time away actually makes me a better mom.  I can tell when I haven't had a night to myself, and not just time to myself after they go to bed.  I mean a night without the responsibility of having to put them to bed, or clean up after dinner.  These things, which seems like no big deal, can add up and after a while, make me a little more stressed, a little less patient or a little more exhausted.  The few hours I get away help me to feel reenergized and ready to take on the temper tantrums, messes, laundry, and everything else that comes along with being around toddlers all day long.  Those few hours let me do things for myself, without worrying about where my kids are, like getting coffee with a friend, shopping, running errands, or just doing homework at a coffee shop.

Another break we consider invaluable is a date night, particularly an overnight.  It's really hard to explain, but I can be having a very rough day with the boys, drop them off to my in-laws and by the next afternoon, can't wait to pick them up.  I think a lot of it has to do with being able to turn your brain off a bit.  When we go out, we decide on dinner and if we want to see a movie.  With kids, I am thinking about dinner and what time it needs to get done before meltdowns start, if we're going somewhere, I have to make sure I have lotion, cups, pjs, pack n plays, blankets, and how are we going to give them a bath? Having even 24 hours without having to always plan ahead and be prepared is a huge break for a mama's mind.

I know not every woman gets these opportunities, so I have to give complete credit to my marvelous husband, who is so willing to take care of our kids and allow me some time for myself, and my awesome parents and in-laws who make date nights possible.

Answering the Questions Everyone Seems to Want to Know

This weekend we went to breakfast as a family.  While waiting for our table a woman started asking us questions about the boys, "are they twins?", "are they adopted?", "where are they adopted from?", etc.  Neither Eric nor I thought anything of it, because these are questions we can't go a day without being asked.  It's normal.

On our way out of the restaurant, I was asked by the hostess, who had heard our previous conversation, if I thought it was rude when people pried into our personal lives.  As an adoptive mom, I am an advocate for adoption and my children all the time.  Sometimes I don't feel like answering a bunch of questions, but just because I don't feel like answering doesn't mean the questions aren't going to be asked.

And even more important than being an advocate for adoption, I am teaching my children how to engage with people about their adoption.  If I am short and snappy with people who are curious, then my boys are going to learn to be short and snappy.  If I am courteous and gracious, then my boys will learn how to talk with people about their adoption in a positive and encouraging way.

I know this for a fact because even now, at just two years old, my boys can tell you that they aren't twins, but actually two month apart.  They hear me answer these questions so often that they are already learning the answers.

It can be a lot of work to always be cheerful and chipper when you answer these questions, and sometimes you can get person after person asking.  It means putting on a smile and being friendly when I'd rather just shrug it off and get my grocery shopping done, but it's worth knowing that when I'm not around, my boys are going to show others just how great adoption can be.

Vacation: Part Three

When we left the cottage on the lake, we didn't head home.  Instead, we drove west a little and met my cousin, his wife and their little boy at my family's cabin.  Our cabin isn't on a lake, but close enough to both inland lakes and Lake Michigan to be an awesome spot.  Plus, we have a homemade go-cart.  What kid wouldn't love that?

We also went to the beach twice in one day, took an impromptu swim in a fountain (at least the kiddos did), played more euchre, ate ice cream, and drank more coffee.  It ended up being quite a long vacation, but you won't hear me complaining one bit.  We hadn't taken a real vacation in a few years, so it was great to get away.  I don't think we'll wait as long between vacations from now on ;)