Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Giving Thanks

I get so wrapped up in my own needs and wants and fears that I forget all the wonderful things that have happened to me and all the good that is in my life.  This Thanksgiving, I have to take a step back and just be grateful for what I have, in spite of the questions I feel are unanswered.

I continue to let myeslf run on this hamster wheel; never ending, around and around.  I know I have nothing to worry or stress about.  I have a wonderful husband, great friends, amazing family and I am not in want of anything.  What do I really have to fret about?  I am not being persecuted for my religion or ethnicity, I have no fear of rape or murder and I am not going without food or shelter.  God, I have it so good!

I know that I am going to be fine and my life will continue to be well no matter what direction my life goes in, but not everyone is that fortunate.  God bless my husband, because he always keeps me in check in this area of want versus true need.  I am so thankful for him. 

I just have to get over myself and hopefully I am learning how, God help me.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Hard Decision

Why is it so difficult for me to make a tough decision, a decision that will better me, no matter what I choose?  Both options are things I want/want to accomplish.  But why is it that I think I make a decision and then proceed to try and talk myself out of it?

You'd think I would be proud of myself and excited, but no.  I am scared out of my wits and the whirlwind of "what ifs" and hypotheses run rampant in my head constantly.  I can't get them to stop and because of them I question everything, I second guess everything.

Why can't I be brave enough to stand by a decision to better myself?  Why must I try and convince myself to stay where I'm at, to stay safe.  Safe is where I get bored and want change, but don't really want the action that comes with it.

I don't know how to make myself braver or more confident and I definitely don't know how to stop my brain from running in circles a million miles per hour.  I think I would give anything to change this trait in myself.  I frustrate myself by doing it, but yet it never ceases.

What is wrong with me?!  Dear Lord, help me for I know not what I do.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Waiting More Than Working

We are still working hard on the house, but it seems like we're in a lull.  We had a whirlwind at the beginning because there was so much to do and we are going to be so busy with the holidays and moving.  But right now, its somewhat of a waiting game. 

We're actually at that point in more than one area of our lives.  We know that our timing is not always the right timing, so we are trying to be patient as we wait for things to become available for us to do.

Eric thought, has been working like mad at the new house.  He is over there 3 out of 5 work days and a few nights also.  And Patrick has been going there and completing projects which is great of him.  We are really appreciating the help he is being.

I am still having coffee dates with my "aunt" which I absolutely love.  She is so fun to talk to and has so much wisdom, two hours is really not enough time.

Most of all, we're all crossing our fingers that our moving day will be before Thanksgiving.  With the holiday being only two weeks away, I am a little nervous.  But I'm hopeful  :)

Friday, November 6, 2009

Moving & Shaking

Things are continuing to happen.  Decisions are being made, we're moving forward and I am so very excited to see what life will be like at the first of the year.

Slight changes that are taking place with the new house are causing some things to take longer, but nothing we are worried about at all.  We're still making great progress and hopefully Eric got a lot done today.

As we've always prayed, we are making our plans and God is directing our steps.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Continually Working

The house has been coming along fabulously.  There are a couple things that have become a little more involved that originally planned, but we are making good progress.

I have decided that construction and painting cannot go on simultaneously, which means once I'm finished taping I will just have to wait.  So we will be working more in stages than we had first thought.  I think it is this way because we are moving so fast with the renovating projects.

It will be weird once we actually get to move in and live there.  It seems pretty unreal right now. 

It is encouraging though to see the house coming along so well.  The progress on the house helps us know that the other things we are figuring out will be decided in due time.

We're just trusting that God's timing is best, just like with the house.  We just have to be patient, no matter how much more I like my time line and plan.