Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Answering the Questions Everyone Seems to Want to Know

This weekend we went to breakfast as a family.  While waiting for our table a woman started asking us questions about the boys, "are they twins?", "are they adopted?", "where are they adopted from?", etc.  Neither Eric nor I thought anything of it, because these are questions we can't go a day without being asked.  It's normal.

On our way out of the restaurant, I was asked by the hostess, who had heard our previous conversation, if I thought it was rude when people pried into our personal lives.  As an adoptive mom, I am an advocate for adoption and my children all the time.  Sometimes I don't feel like answering a bunch of questions, but just because I don't feel like answering doesn't mean the questions aren't going to be asked.

And even more important than being an advocate for adoption, I am teaching my children how to engage with people about their adoption.  If I am short and snappy with people who are curious, then my boys are going to learn to be short and snappy.  If I am courteous and gracious, then my boys will learn how to talk with people about their adoption in a positive and encouraging way.

I know this for a fact because even now, at just two years old, my boys can tell you that they aren't twins, but actually two month apart.  They hear me answer these questions so often that they are already learning the answers.

It can be a lot of work to always be cheerful and chipper when you answer these questions, and sometimes you can get person after person asking.  It means putting on a smile and being friendly when I'd rather just shrug it off and get my grocery shopping done, but it's worth knowing that when I'm not around, my boys are going to show others just how great adoption can be.


  1. Hi Teresa, My name is Malgosia. I'm from Poland and I'm also mother of adopted child. My little boy, his name is Piotr, is also two. It's nice to read how your children are growing :) Best regards from Poland :)

    1. Thank you so much for commenting! I actually visited Poland when I was in high school. We stayed in a small town outside of Gdansk (honestly, I don't remember the name of it) and I loved every minute of it. My husband has also traveled there too, although at a different time than me.

      Is your son adopted from within Poland or was he born in another country?

    2. It's nice to hear that:) I was in USA in 2000 (Atlanta) and in 2001 (Wisconsin Dells). I miss these time.
      My son is adopted from Poland. We met him when he was 2 days old :)It's really great because we are with Piotrus from his first days :)